In June, it was revealed that muscular pop barnacle Madonna earned $125 million through her world tour. Alternatively, her fans could have put on her greatest hits album, flicked the lights on and off in their living room and charged themselves $9 for a vodka-tonic.
It must be Friday the 13th, because Beyoncé just dropped a new “visual” album out of nowhere. Click here for full tracklist and links to 17 videos the Queen Bee made. (It’s really, really good.)
Some were funny, some were bizarre and others were just plain weird. We look back at some of the music industry’s biggest fails of 2013.
From Drake to Miley to the Harlem Shake, 2013’s biggest music moments, according to Ned Hepburn
In all, 2013 was an interesting year for music. From twerking to Phil Collins to the inclusion of those two things in a sentence I am writing now, we certainly had it all. What will 2014 bring? Blue Ivy’s first solo album? Miley Cyrus’s bluegrass-dubstep period? Only time will tell, dear readers. Here’s to the year that was.
Listen to an awesome new remix of The Darcys’ track The River
The Darcys topped Radio 3 charts in August of this year with their number one track “The River.” Juno Award-winning producer Rambo Hollywood wanted to remix the track and include another well known Canadian talent.
"I’ve been a fan of the Darcys for some time, which has made it a lot more fun to mess with their music," Hollywood says. "I know [Buck 65 is] a fan of theirs too, so it felt natural (and interesting) to include him. When the dust settled, a vast, heavy landscape remained."
Buck 65 (aka Drive DJ Rich Terfry) is a little more self-serving with his participation in the remix. “When I was asked to contribute to this remix, I jumped at the chance,” he said in an interview from his desk at Toronto’s CBC Music office. “The Darcys just won the Bucky Award for sexiest music and I want a piece of that action. Now that the remix is released, I plan to post a link to it on my online dating profile.”
First Play: Good For Grapes, Man on the Page
Vancouver’s Good for Grapes were just teenagers when they made it through the Vancouver auditions for Canada’s Got Talent, but withdrew from the competition to focus on touring (Martin Short enthusiastically commented, “You represent the future of Canada and I’m feeling charged about it” when he first saw them on the show and put them through the audition stage.)
Good for Grapes’ debut album, Man on the Page, is a catchy mix of harmonies and smooth folk music. And their earnest take on Mumford-style folk is a breath of fresh air in the Canadian music landscape. The album is decidedly listenable, which is fortuitous, since you can listen to the whole thing here ahead of its Dec. 10 release.
- Halfway through, it just becomes Mary Poppins starring Jewel, and nobody notices.
- Carrie Underwood takes a Louisville Slugger to both headlights of Hitler’s pickup truck.
- The hills are alive, but you know, like, they have eyes.
- A panicked look on Underwood’s face as she forgets “My Favorite Things” and has to make up the lyrics: “Raindrops on racists and nipples on chickens.”
- Accidental swears.
- I hope they keep the scene where the kids are lined up by height. Oh wait, that’s every scene.
- Funkier new disco arrangements by Nile Rodgers and Hammerstein.
- All the kids’ voices deepen four octaves between rehearsal and performance.
- All the success of NBC’s last musical theatre endeavour, Smash.
- A convoluted backstory to explain Underwood’s southern accent.
- Sets that look an awful lot like the Cliffhangers set from The Price is Right.
- Changing a few lyrics for sponsors: “How do you solve a problem like eczema? Cortizone!”
- An acknowledgment of what the lonely goatherd does when he gets really lonely.
- By popular demand, the Ricola jingle.
- “La” breaks up with “Do Re Mi,” stating, “Is that all I am to you, a note to follow so?”